If you used to read my previous blog which now doesn’t exist because I unexisted it in a moment of unexistiness, you will know that there are certain recurring themes I tend to highlight in my…ahem…work.
For the uninitiated and for those who question the words unexisted and unexistiness let me first assure you that I’m astonishingly clever for a stupid person. I’m basically Shakespeare without the baldness or that weird collar thing made out of meringue or whatever. Or, if not Shakespeare, I’m that kid you used to sit next to in class who spent his whole time drawing tiny penises in your homework book because he was too clever to be engaged by the teacher’s predictable sermons on ‘knowledge’.
But despite my buttheaded genius I am just an ordinary person like you. Well, not exactly like you: I have better clothes and don’t get overexcited by alleged superfoods or Scandi Noir. Some of my concerns are the same as yours, though, and this is reflected by the recurring themes you will encounter and recognise as pertinent to your own life in this amazing dumbass blog I bless you with.
Cake. You like cake, don’t you? We all like a bit of cake. Cake. Oh boy have you come to the right place if you like frequent, often incongruent references to cake. See how much we have in common (not that I’m at all common)?
Sleeping. Most of us sleep. I regularly sleep and just as regularly mention sleep in my blogs. I know, it’s like a fantasy come true for you. Bliss it is in this dawn to find a good blog, but to find one that mentions sleep a lot is very heaven.*
Small, furry creatures from Alpha Centuri. Actually I don’t write about these very often unless there happens to be an especially Douglas Adams feel to that day’s post.
And many, many more. Including your momma.
Tune in next time for more stuff that will astound and verify you in ways nothing else on the internet can manage. Until then, sit back, have a snooze, eat some Battenberg and dream of being as intelligently fuckwitted as I am. It’s good to dream. Although most of the time I dream about frogs invading my shoes.
* no other blogs are available