Oh Boy It’s Swell To Say…

img_2226Lots of sleepings have happened. Not enough to make my body like me but lots. And there has been some walking about, some saying of the words “Fuck me the wind is cold!” and some drinking coffee and talking of nonsense with Si.

Do you know Si? He knows you. He knows that you’re guilty of electoral fraud and shouldn’t be in government. I wouldn’t mess with Si if I were you. He’s seen things, man.

When I woke up it was still England all around me so I went back to sleep. I woke later and it was still England all around me so I said “Bollocks!” and went back to sleep. Eventually I had to accept the England all around me and get up. I may have said “Bollocks!” quite a lot more times anyway.

“But why do you want to live in America, Steve? There’s no NHS and you’ll die because of your crippled lungs.” That’s you whining at me for going on about America so much.

You don’t pay attention much, do you? People I love are in Ohio as well as some of them being in England. The NHS in the UK is being destroyed by the very people who ought to be protecting its existence – the government – so in a decade there will be no difference between health care in Britain and America. The UK is leaving the fucking EU for fuck’s sake, the single most idiotic decision since letting Charles II reboot the monarchy. We don’t make anything. We’ve got no natural resources unless we destroy our areas of natural beauty for fracking shale gas. We’re becoming increasingly xenophobic and intolerant of difference in this country. Yet we act like none of this is happening, like it’s just a tiny blip and then Britain will get back to being great again.

Newsflash, Britain was only ever great off the back of slavery and imperialism. Since the powers that be reluctantly gave those things up we’ve been Mediocre Britain. The Brexit thing will tip us over into being Utterly Shit Britain. At least America admits to its horrific past and to some of its terrifying present. Even if the orange faced orangutan who thinks he’s in charge is a lying liar from Liarville. At least they still make things. At least they still grow food in their own soil. At least Elvis is still alive. He is, Trump says he is and he’s the best at knowing if Elvis is alive or dead.

Hmm. I’m a real grouchy twat when I’m jetlagged, aren’t I?


About S

“an extraordinary repository of cultural knowledge”
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