Looks like it’s a year tomorrow since my American adventure began. In some cases people follow up that sort of statement with “Hasn’t the time flown?” or similar inanities but the past year has been delightfully bounteous when it comes to making memories and spending time with people I love. Best of all, because I returned to Ohio in February this year one twelfth of the past year has been spent with my dearest friend and his inspirational wife.
A good two months were taken up with being properly unwell, it is true. The tail end of 2016 was less bounteous and more ball-kicking, so much so that I was left physically battered and emotionally overwhelmed. Since my return from the most recent trip to America I have stayed the right side of survival, I’ve even managed to be upbeat now and then, but my heart continues to feel like it does not belong where I am any longer.
The pipe dream of one day living in America is probably just that, a dream that my poor health and lack of finance will spoil, but the fact that I still allow myself to dream is a positive in my mind. Two or three years ago I felt unable to dream even the smallest of dreams, now I can admit to ridiculous, grand, madcap fantasies in a way that has characterised most of my life.
Not fantasies about waking up in a world made of cake, although I like that kind of dream too.
While health and money are the key factors which will affect any future decisions and adventures this last year has retaught me that life does not have to be small and scary. It can be big and scary instead. If I’m going to be scared why not have some fun along the way? Better than freaking out from the comfort of my own bed. Unless I’m tired, then my bed is almost the best in the world. The one I have slept in in Ohio both times is the best one in the world.