I Know A Whoopee Spot

guitar_thumb800I did some world today and have plans to do some more later. If I’m honest I’m feeling less courageous about it than I was yesterday when being of the world was theoretically achievable. The practicalities still stump me: connecting my brain with my mouth so that I don’t sound entirely like a self-conscious idiot; trying not to stop completely dead on the sidewalk when somebody coming towards me looks even remotely as though they might invade my personal space; eye contact. And all that jazz.

The world I have already done today had some of that jazz but not all of it. And by ‘that jazz’ in this case I actually mean music as I went to a music workshop at Apple run by my lovely friend Si. Do you know Si? He knows you. He’s got recordings of you on the toilet and we’re going to broadcast them over the top of the Queen’s speech this evening during the news.

I learned some valuable things about the GarageBand app I use to record my music on, including where to find the noise gates to hopefully crisp up the vocals and tighten drums. Aww yeah, just like we did back in them old days of analogue noise making only with digital accuracy. Plus I can autotune my voice to sound like Lady Gaga. But I don’t want to autotune my voice to sound like Lady Gaga. Unless I do a song called ‘Lady Gaga’s Lady Garden’ in which case it might be appropriate.

Si is a clever man. You should get to know him. Then he might not record you on the toilet. Then again, Chuck Berry was fairly nice and he did that too. And in the interests of libel law I should point out that Si hardly ever records people on the toilet. (So aren’t you special?)

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