Homework from therapy this week is a new angle for me. Having recognised that focusing on the loud noises of anxiety which often masquerade as an internal dialogue makes me depressed and feeling like I’d rather listen to audio of sea lions masturbating, it’s interesting to be actively spending every other day encouraging myself to tune in to the worst things I say to myself about myself.
On the other days my mission is to treat myself with the same sort of compassion and understanding I show to people I care about so it’s about building a compare and contrast picture and considering how the different inside noises make me feel.
Today is a be mean to myself day which is why I’m writing such tosswank shittery in my blog. My body is already being mean to me as it fails to pick up again after breaking down a day or so ago in a petulant fit of rage about the activities of earlier in the week. So body and brain are now tag-teaming to tea-bag my soul. Yuck.
Roll on tomorrow when I can be kind to me again. Which of course I don’t deserve because I’m a arse-faced butt-twat.