There have now been twenty-three Februaries since time began. Which doesn’t sound like many. Time began only twenty-three Februaries ago? Surely not. It feels like at least twenty-six.
Before there was time we ran around naked as the day wasn’t long, innocent and never ageing. No sunrise, no moonset, no king, no king, la la la la la la. Idiots, there will be a king…
…sorry, Jeremy Irons requires that I quote from some of his best roles once every twenty-three Februaries. And when Simon says handcuff Samuel L Jackson to Bruce Willis, who am I to argue?
Anyway, before time there were no Februaries. We didn’t need them because there wasn’t a January and there wasn’t a March so there was no need to make a bridge between them. No need for James Brown to be taken to that bridge. No need for troubled water to flow underneath it. Simpler times, everyone, which is weird when they weren’t even times at all.
Sorry, it’s the twenty-third of February; I had some facts wrong above. Otherwise it’s completely accurate.