The Italian Job

Hold,up, lads, I’ve got an idea

I just drank a sixth of April; dare me to drive? Well I won’t drive, ladies and gentlemen, because I’m sitting on a sofa which doesn’t have an engine so I can’t.

Quanto costa una lettera per via aerea per gli Stati Uniti?

And your answer is? Wrong, it’s six euro and half a can of pesto. No, I haven’t gone all cosmopolitan on you, I just spotted the Italian phrase book beside the non-engined sofa and opened a page at random. Now I know how to ask the cost of air mail to that America, which will improve the quality of my life no end.

It’s good to learn a little of other countries’ languages. The British used to be very bad at this, so bad that I suspect power and resources weren’t the prime reasons for the horrors of Empire at all. No, we were just so frightfully embarrassed that we could only speak English that we kept invading other people to force them to speak it too.

Of course these days, if you say you’re English…


About S

“an extraordinary repository of cultural knowledge”
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