Category Archives: Culture

Ulysses Deriding Polyphemus

I dreamt I was dreaming and couldn’t wake up. Then I woke up. The unconscious is a dick. It feels as though I put on the wrong legs this morning, uncooperative legs with somebody else’s fatigue in them. After all, … Continue reading

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Never Simile At A Crododile

You know similes? When someone mentions a thing and defines it in comparison to a different thing? Like, for example, saying an early Spring is like premature ejaculation because it is sort of exciting but ultimately overwhelming and rather disappointing … Continue reading

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Phantasmagoria

Beware the ides of March. In a month’s time. Meantime, don’t beware of nothing. Or do. Up to you really. Personally ima beware of bitey dogs eyeing up my gonads, Russia, eating urinal cake and anything stabby. A comprehensive list, … Continue reading

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You Can Call Me Al Capone

Hello Thursday, will you be friends and pals with me and not ask me to spend all the day being sick? You will? Then I like you and won’t throw gravel at your shins. Oh, and will you encourage me … Continue reading

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Rhythm-A-Ning

Bebop. It’s a word. If you were a hepcat you’d know it’s a word without me having to tell you. You’d also have a terrible gasoline habit, be a tremendous fire risk and plagiarise early Comic Strip dialogue. I’ve spent … Continue reading

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Twit Twit Twit Twit Twit Twit Twit

The sound of a hundred or so people chattering in twos and threes or larger groups is the sound of hedge sparrows with hobnail boots on. But at least there are still places where people congregate to talk to one … Continue reading

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Do Not Feed The Animals?

In naturally evolving ecosystems the underlying purpose of an individual animal’s existence is to survive long enough to produce and hopefully nurture young in order to ensure the continuation of their species.  In human, capitalist societies the apparent purpose of … Continue reading

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