Category Archives: Film

Oh Clouds Unfold

Mattress. Now I have to stand in the fish tank and sing. And for those of you who don’t know the more obscure stuff by Monty Python that was an oblique reference to a piece of the more obscure stuff … Continue reading

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Outside It’s America*

If you sing that Bambi song about the drippy droppy April showers to the tune of ‘Summertime’ it’s ironic. And an accurate description of August in the UK. Europe has been basking in a heatwave so overwhelming that fears for … Continue reading

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To Boldly Split Infinitives…

Voicey croaky continuey. Croak croak. I am not a frog. I may or may not be a salamander. They croak too, don’t they? Scaramanga, salamander: only one of them tried to assassinate James Bond but it didn’t have a re-growable … Continue reading

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Witchy Poo Lineman

I had plans for today. Minor plans but plans nonetheless. Boring, domestic plans but necessary plans. The first of those plans was to wake earlier than is usual for me (still far later than any of you for I am … Continue reading

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What A Total Bastille

It’s Bastille day, everyone, the day when Punxsutawney Bastille is shown the shadow of a guillotine and shits himself until autumn. Love those old traditions, especially the ones that aren’t even true. It’s also the day we remember the chart … Continue reading

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Squashed Tomatoes And Stew

What an amiable birthday. First thing this morning a huge man kicked down the front door, presented me with a cake and said “You’re a wizard, Harris” before making my cousin grow a tail. Then I went on a bicycle … Continue reading

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Back Of My Neck Getting Dirty And Gritty

Look at the still hot weather imploding itself on Britain. Go on, look at it. Go outside and look it in the eye and tell it you’re not perturbed by a bit of sunshine, that your grandfather once bummed a … Continue reading

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