Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ebo Ebo Ebonettes

“Sharp scratch.” Doctors and nurses who are inserting needles into you are obliged by law to say this now as it is punishable by death to say “You’ll feel a bit of a prick.” I’ve been needled today, in the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat

I’m not a hamster, what the heck are you even on about? I’m a dormouse. Here I am, curled up inside my madly hatted teapot, snoozing, snoozing, snoozing. And nothing else. Nope. Not a darned thing. Except cake. Cake has … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Squeaky Squeaky

I’m small. I’m not very furry. I do not have rodent-like teeth (or indeed many of my own actual teeth due to a life spent addicted to first amphetamines and then, when I grew up, sugar). And yet I am … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Do Aardarks Dream Of Eclectic Feet?

When does being low because my stupid health is being stupid in stupid ways become depression? I never quite know where the line is and usually stumble over it before I’ve realised and then have to deal with depression as … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Nope-a-Dope

No. Just say no. Say no to having a real life full of other humans and activity. Say no to being able to breathe as well as normal people. Say no to any day that doesn’t involve high levels of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Wank Holiday

I’ve cracked bank holiday grocery shopping. It’s easy really, simply go to an unfashionable supermarket half an hour before they close (early) and wear a t-shirt that says ‘I kill everyone who talks to me’. Even without the t-shirt I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Pardon Me For Breathing, Which I Never Do Anyway So I Don’t Know Why I Bother To Say It

Not so good at humaning today. All I’m good for is eating junk and wearing undergarments. That’s it. Forget my cleverness edumacation, I’m taking some time out from being clever in order to spend more time with my stupid. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment