Monday was a big pile of dog’s arse. Well, maybe a small pile because there were also one or two moments that somehow restored my faith in human beings and god and the universe enough to keep me going through all the crap I had to endure on three hours sleep.
The delivery driver bringing one of my meds didn’t come at fuck early o’clock for a change. But I’d been awake since even fuckier early o’clock so it didn’t matter that he was here at a more human hour.
So I made someone else make my breakfast by going to a cafe. The breakfast was meh as best but I didn’t have to make it nor did I have to wash the dishes afterwards. Win. See how thin the straws have been I’ve grabbed at today?
I got to the hospital for my test run of a new nebulised drug to help me clear the nasty shit that makes my chest so damn problematic ALL THE TIME lately and that seemed to go ok so I’ve got a fortnight’s worth of it for a proper trial at home. Some of my spirometry results were better than they were before I went away too which was promising. I’ve also been booked on another physical rehab course which starts next week. If these measures don’t help much my specialist would like me to have another two week course of intravenous antibiotics. I’ve asked that if it comes to it, can I do the whole two weeks in hospital instead of mostly at home, as I’ll be looked after, fed and wont have to worry about functioning while taking uber-powerful meds. They’re ok with that so if that’s what happens I might get my christmas dinner in hospital. Not win.
And I’ve no idea whether the reassessment for Personal Independence Payments is a win or not as they’re not going to make the decision for a few weeks – the person I saw today just asked a bunch of leading and undignified questions which some other cunt in an office full of cunts will process as data like I’m not even a human person at all. So that’s December ruined by anxiety even if I don’t have to have IV antibiotics. Which is definitely not a win.
But, I gave all my change to a homeless guy today because I thought that he was having a worse life than mine. And he was genuinely thankful which meant we had a nice moment, human to human.
And, when I was having my breakfast a student wanted to stretch the plug of her laptop behind my seat to charge it up and I said I was more than happy to swap seats with her to make it easier for her. And she was genuinely thankful which was another nice human to human moment.
And there was actually a free disabled parking space in front of the place I had to have my assessment. Those are the little things that got me through today. Food and overpowering painkillers will hopefully see me through the rest of Monday’s conscious pieces.