Tag Archives: food

A Real (Fake) Nephew Of My Uncle Sam

Gazing back at this past week through the sun-smeared spectacles of bank holiday larking around I feel rather fondly about it. It is true that as I write this the muscles in the entirety of my torso are screaming at … Continue reading

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Your Majesty Is Like A Stream Of Bat’s Piss

There is only one thing in the world worse than sleeping all the time and that is not sleeping all the time. And vice versa. And Verso books. Fachache slowly fades into a background noise of pain that registers less … Continue reading

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On Doing Stuff

After a night of fitful sleep because of that annoying twitchy leg thing that some folks find annoys their sleep and renders it fitful, I was planning on doing very little today. Nice to surprise myself now and then as … Continue reading

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I’m An Achiever

I thought loaves of bread were stupid fairy tales, And that wholemeal Will Self was not for me. Loaves were out to get me, They slapped my face and screamed, Dizzy Pointless Osman in my dreams. Then I did a … Continue reading

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Splunky Brewster

The outside world is a place of outsideyness, untamed shop windows and feral pavements. I was attacked by a homity pie so I shot it, ate its face off and mounted its anus on my trophy wall. I am the … Continue reading

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Shakin’ Steven

After two nights sleeping on a bunk bed it feels opulent and grown-up to be back in my own double sleepy sleepy place. I don’t mean I have two beds, I mean mine isn’t small and bunky, it’s a double … Continue reading

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Induction Then Destruction

Weekends. Huh! Good gawd. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Woah, woah, woah. No, I won’t say it again because an accurate depiction of my weekend would prove weekends are good for some things. Crying. Feeling like a complete … Continue reading

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