Tag Archives: Language

Prisoner of Forever

Tiredness, it’s the new energetic. I prefer being tired when I can point to specific activities which might have brought it on but for the last two days I’ve simply felt weak and wobbly, slow and sleepy. Yesterday was better … Continue reading

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Plight At The End Of The Tunnel

I’m not a celebrity don’t get me out of here until the covids fuck off. Housebounds of Hull. Saturday night no fever. Coming up with titles for new television shows relevant to the current global crisis is difficult. Luckily nobody … Continue reading

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Oh Look, Another Insomniac Shitpost

I can’t tell if tonight’s insomnia is just another episode in a three week-long saga of broken nights and lost days or whether it is special in its own right because I’m anxious about a visit to the doctor’s surgery … Continue reading

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I Was Just In The Middle of A Dream

Garfield. The Boomtown Rats. The Bangles. T-Bone Walker. New Order.  If you require documented proof that Mondays need to be made illegal then look no further than my far-from-exhaustive list of musical luminaries – and a cartoon cat – for … Continue reading

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Cofvefe

Something. Today I have already done something. I’ve done coming into town for coffee and that’s where I am right now, coffeeing. Because I can make any word I like a verb and you can’t stop me – I’ve got … Continue reading

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MarvellousSuperSmashingGreat

Good. Adjectival meaning, well, good. But in a sort of muted, apologetic, questioning way. As in ‘so that’s…good…isn’t it?’ “Yes, your house did burn to the ground but you weren’t inside it and you didn’t burn too so that’s good, … Continue reading

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Baked In Vinegar

Its April the Ate, a festival of eating that doesn’t even exist but which is extremely popular in my imagination. To celebrate I’ve thus far slain and eaten the fatted breakfast cereals, thought about cake, thought about cake some more, … Continue reading

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The Italian Job

I just drank a sixth of April; dare me to drive? Well I won’t drive, ladies and gentlemen, because I’m sitting on a sofa which doesn’t have an engine so I can’t. Quanto costa una lettera per via aerea per … Continue reading

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Never Simile At A Crododile

You know similes? When someone mentions a thing and defines it in comparison to a different thing? Like, for example, saying an early Spring is like premature ejaculation because it is sort of exciting but ultimately overwhelming and rather disappointing … Continue reading

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Rhythm-A-Ning

Bebop. It’s a word. If you were a hepcat you’d know it’s a word without me having to tell you. You’d also have a terrible gasoline habit, be a tremendous fire risk and plagiarise early Comic Strip dialogue. I’ve spent … Continue reading

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