Monthly Archives: August 2018

The Olympic Committee today announced there will be a brand new sport next time around: ‘Kicking Someone When They’re Down’. We Brits are especially good at it so expect medals galore in the years to come. I’m doubly glad I … Continue reading →

Sometimes you bite the bear… …and sometimes the animal protection league have you prosecuted. When I woke this morning, consumed with ouch to the point that even moving my eyes hurt my entire body, I doubted I’d get to my … Continue reading →

A suggestion of autumn hangs on the evening air the way the smell of curried chips invests the back seats of a night bus. Curried chips would be welcome as a means of counteracting the temperature and, later, helping to … Continue reading →

Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think, that a shouty Canadian singer was not really clued up on the meaning of the word ‘ironic’ yet went ahead and wrote a song called ‘Ironic’ which only served to confirm that she ought … Continue reading →

An empty day, a day of sand falling relentlessly from my cut-off ears and crusted eyes. All the hours have been melted together in a sticking non-stick pan, time congeals into a shapeless mass of cooking-chocolate moments that make everyone … Continue reading →

At the very end of last year I considered what changes I hoped to bring about in my life in 2018. That I’ve only now remembered, at the tail end of August, that I put thought into such matters proves … Continue reading →

I am bed and bed is me now bed is made, like literally made having been in several separate pieces at twenty past of nine morningwise, and now I’m exhaustabated from the magical realm of Dunelm where sheets and anti-allergen … Continue reading →

My bed is in pieces. Intentionally. Tomorrow a new bed is being delivered, a bed I’ve bought which means the one my landlord provided when I moved in six years ago has been dismantled. Tonight I sleep on an air … Continue reading →

Out here nothing important happens. Rocks turn slowly into sand but the human eye barely sees any of that. Human eyes aren’t exactly for recognising the eternal, they’re too fixated on the minuscule Now to appreciate all but the most … Continue reading →

Ice. Olé. Shun. Put em together and what have you got? Iceoléshun, obviously. Don’t put em together – because that’s the fucking point – and get homonym with the motion and what have you got?  Well done, five points to … Continue reading →