Monthly Archives: April 2020

No Soup For You*

With incredible foresight, scientists have managed to manufacture enough days of April to last us until the month of May, which begins tomorrow. The wonders of our age never cease to amaze. Nothing else has been manufactured, obviously, because the … Continue reading

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Snicker Snack!

These are the not quite end times. There isn’t enough End to go round so we’ll have to make do with a mix n match apocalypse until supplies have been replenished. Feel free to sacrifice yourself to a cartoon mouse … Continue reading

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Groovin’ All Week With You

Monday was yesterday, was a million years ago, was every day scrunched up into a lumpy package with sharp corners and rammed up my arse. Bit melodramatic. Let’s just say I didn’t Monday very well and am already eyeing Tuesday … Continue reading

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What’s Mr Chips Doing?

Week six of total lockdown begins. Which should be a game show. Total Lockdown, hosted by Richard ‘Not A Real Hamster’ Hammond, a can of oil and a prison governor, in which contestants try to recreate the cover art of … Continue reading

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You’re Not My Real Mom

No, YOU haven’t written anything in your blog today. 

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Can You Hear My Bum Fernando?

Is it possible to develop Stockholm Syndrome concerning yourself? I hope so as I might otherwise have to acknowledge that ultimately I am being confined by order of Boris Johnson and I really, really, don’t want to start developing salacious … Continue reading

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Mere Anarchy Is Loosed Upon The World

‘Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold…’ Yeats never had to live in lockdown, as far as I’m aware, and his name is a lazy anagram of yeast, yet somehow he nailed this tail end of week five of confinement … Continue reading

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Apocalipsmackin’thirstquenchin’acetastin’motivatin’goodbuzzin’cooltalkin’highwalkin’fastlivin’evergivin’coolfizzin

In the middle of the night, I go walking to the fridge. Not for food but for the sage counsel it has been offering up during this, the fifth week of confinement. “Judder judder judder” it says, which we all … Continue reading

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Thinkses

Hello, come on in, pull up a Tuesday and let us think about the wonders of more than a month of lockdown. Yes, wonders, for amidst the tragedy and the grief of this viral shitstorm there have been moments of … Continue reading

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God Bless Mrs Ethel Shroake

Welcome, listeners, and also welcome. Here we go again with the meaningless drivel masquerading as a blog which currently tries to convey what it’s like inside my brain during the lockdown of the covids. As nobody is calling it…yet. Welcome. … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Biology, Blogging, creativity, Culture, DWP, Economics, exercise, Film, Finance, food, health, Life, Media, mental health, Nature, Philosophy, psychology, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments