Monthly Archives: April 2020

No Soup For You*

Posted on April 30, 2020 by S

With incredible foresight, scientists have managed to manufacture enough days of April to last us until the month of May, which begins tomorrow. The wonders of our age never cease to amaze. Nothing else has been manufactured, obviously, because the … Continue reading →

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Snicker Snack!

Posted on April 29, 2020 by S

These are the not quite end times. There isn’t enough End to go round so we’ll have to make do with a mix n match apocalypse until supplies have been replenished. Feel free to sacrifice yourself to a cartoon mouse … Continue reading →

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Groovin’ All Week With You

Posted on April 28, 2020 by S

Monday was yesterday, was a million years ago, was every day scrunched up into a lumpy package with sharp corners and rammed up my arse. Bit melodramatic. Let’s just say I didn’t Monday very well and am already eyeing Tuesday … Continue reading →

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What’s Mr Chips Doing?

Posted on April 27, 2020 by S

Week six of total lockdown begins. Which should be a game show. Total Lockdown, hosted by Richard ‘Not A Real Hamster’ Hammond, a can of oil and a prison governor, in which contestants try to recreate the cover art of … Continue reading →

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You’re Not My Real Mom

Posted on April 26, 2020 by S

No, YOU haven’t written anything in your blog today. 

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Can You Hear My Bum Fernando?

Posted on April 25, 2020 by S

Is it possible to develop Stockholm Syndrome concerning yourself? I hope so as I might otherwise have to acknowledge that ultimately I am being confined by order of Boris Johnson and I really, really, don’t want to start developing salacious … Continue reading →

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Mere Anarchy Is Loosed Upon The World

Posted on April 24, 2020 by S

‘Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold…’ Yeats never had to live in lockdown, as far as I’m aware, and his name is a lazy anagram of yeast, yet somehow he nailed this tail end of week five of confinement … Continue reading →

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Apocalipsmackin’thirstquenchin’acetastin’motivatin’goodbuzzin’cooltalkin’highwalkin’fastlivin’evergivin’coolfizzin

Posted on April 22, 2020 by S

In the middle of the night, I go walking to the fridge. Not for food but for the sage counsel it has been offering up during this, the fifth week of confinement. “Judder judder judder” it says, which we all … Continue reading →

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Thinkses

Posted on April 21, 2020 by S

Hello, come on in, pull up a Tuesday and let us think about the wonders of more than a month of lockdown. Yes, wonders, for amidst the tragedy and the grief of this viral shitstorm there have been moments of … Continue reading →

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God Bless Mrs Ethel Shroake

Posted on April 18, 2020 by S

Welcome, listeners, and also welcome. Here we go again with the meaningless drivel masquerading as a blog which currently tries to convey what it’s like inside my brain during the lockdown of the covids. As nobody is calling it…yet. Welcome. … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Biology, Blogging, creativity, Culture, DWP, Economics, exercise, Film, Finance, food, health, Life, Media, mental health, Nature, Philosophy, psychology, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments