Monthly Archives: December 2019

Ha! Pee New Ya!

I guess that, compared to the last two New Year’s Eves, tonight will be ok for me. 2018 I was too unwell and full of anxiety to really notice there was a time of celebration going on. 2017 I was … Continue reading

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Coming Up

What are you hoping the new decade will bring? Are you a NYE optimist or somebody who thinks it’s just another day? Personally I prefer the turning of the year to the orgy of capitalism that has overrun the religious … Continue reading

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What To Look Out For In The 2020s

The 2010s were a thing but people have grown tired of them now, what with Skynet Alexa taking over their homes, British racism being the country’s only noticeable export, and anti-social media helping everyone forget how to have any conversation … Continue reading

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The Truth About 2019

January Aliens ate Prince Philip’s face while he was driving to pick up twenty Rothman’s and a few scratchies, and he was kept away from the public while royal scientists rebuilt him. Or until he died.  Also, Gareth Gates won … Continue reading

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So here it almost is, murky crisp mass, very bloody sagging bum…unless I’ve misheard the lyrics to the perennial Slade song. It’s not allowed to be crisp mass until Noddy Holder has raucously yelled that it is and thus far … Continue reading

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Good Old Fashioned Christmas Films

Some films that always used to be shown over the Christmas period that still make me feel as though Christmas is happening to me like I’m a nine year old. Hans Christian Anderson: not even a Christmas film but full … Continue reading

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Coping With Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year that isn’t really very wonderful unless you avoid the capitalist bullshit and think about your actual Jesus. As I am very good at giving tips about surviving stuff here are some tips … Continue reading

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So you’ve done an election and you don’t like the hideous straw-haired arse who ended up winning it? What can you do to console yourself and somehow cope with five years of smarmy, public-schoolboy misogyny? Here are some suggestions. Wall … Continue reading

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Dear UK people, we’ve a General Election this week and the least encouraging things I’ve heard in the run up have come from those who complain about how political their social media has become. Like, politics doesn’t happen to them … Continue reading

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Five God-Awful Things!

I’ve had the legs shortened on my December but I don’t know how much it will improve it. What I wish I could do is have my ribs instantaneously healed but apparently that is not one of the options in … Continue reading

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