BBC television’s annual appeal to raise money to implant a personality into one lucky sportsperson has gone as well as it always does. Which is to say that speeches have been cut off before they were concluded, footage of people grinning after getting all a bit puffed out have been shown and terrible jokes have fallen flatter than a flat earth that’s been run over by a cosmic steam roller.
As an added extra this year the BBC decided to publicly humiliate David Baddiel and Frank Skinner by forcing the decidedly non-singing singers to perform ‘Footsport Is Returning To The Nation Which Dubiously Claims To Have Invented It’ in front of a blessedly forgiving audience. As the sequence proved, these two national treasures are most skilled at sitting on a sofa next to one another. They should write a song about that next time.
This year’s winner of the appeal for a personality ought to have been disqualified as he already has one, a nice, understated Welsh one that really doesn’t need mucking about with just so he can have a chance of being a captain on ‘A Question Of Sportsings’ when he eventually retires. They should have given it to Harry Kickbladder, who doesn’t even become more interesting when he grows some designed stubble and hurls himself into a tuxedo.
I won’t be watching Alan Sugar’s ‘Selfish Cunt Of The Year’ award which is being shown immediately after the personality appeal. We already have far too many of them.