Category Archives: Life

Napoleon’s Piano

Posted on March 1, 2023 by S

If I ruled the world everyday would be the First Day of Welsh. And March. And Spring. And (most importantly) everyday would be the First Day of Everybody Give Steve A Cake Month. Yes everybody, even you Putin. In a … Continue reading →

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Fourjan

Posted on January 4, 2023 by S

There was a third of January but I decided to be asleep for lots of it. And now it’s a fourth and I’m feeling wide-eyed and raring to go. I’m lying, I still feel tired: I always feel tired. Ask … Continue reading →

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The First Ninety Minutes Are The Most Important

Posted on November 14, 2022 by S

The footballs as we know the will never be the same again, not now the English League of Premiers has stopped mid-season to allow for a World Cup to take place in Qatar. Which controversial element of that sentence would … Continue reading →

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And His Name Is Wiggly Woo

Posted on November 13, 2022 by S

“In the beginning was the worm and the worm was…”  Oh, word not worm. Well that’s an opening to a book I’ve been misinterpreting most of my life, then. I did think it was a bit weird that the Old … Continue reading →

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As In A Mirror

Posted on November 9, 2022 by S

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. I played marbles and conkers and had loads of Action Men and cut pictures out of magazines to stick in … Continue reading →

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Don’t Worry If It’s Not Good Enough

Posted on November 8, 2022 by S

‘The trick with songwriting is to do the opposite of whatever you do when you’re not writing a song.’ Darven Crumble, 1973. Wise words from Darven there, a giant of 70s rock music you’ve forgotten about until I made him … Continue reading →

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Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart (is not part of this post)

Posted on November 3, 2022 by S

There are now only umpty-diddle hippo-strangling days until they pass that pesky law forbidding me anyone from strangling hippos. It’s as though nobody is allowed a little harmful innocent fun these days. These days, if you say you’re Stewart Lee, … Continue reading →

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Water Time To Be Alive

Posted on November 1, 2022 by S

This is your November Is Happening Now warning. Be careful out there. People will burn things and send explodey, colourful missiles into the sky. Men will grow moustaches. Warmth will stop visiting as often as it did in October. Shops … Continue reading →

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To Lose One Prime Munster, Britain, May Be Regarded As A Misfortune; To Lose Two Looks Like Carelessness

Posted on October 20, 2022 by S

You couldn’t make it up: Lizzard Trussterfuck has realised after 45 days in the job that’s she’s utterly unsuited to being a Prime Munster so the Cuntservatives are now looking for their third leader – and the nation’s third PM … Continue reading →

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Inaccurate Semaphore

Posted on October 13, 2022 by S

You know that alt-right gobshite who’s just been ordered to pay a bunch of people a bunch of money for talking a bunch of fucking bullshit about them? Yeah, that’s the one. Well, he’s not even real; he’s an actor … Continue reading →

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