Category Archives: travel

In Two Hundred Millimetres, Turn Left

Oh hello, you caught me right in the middle of the absolutely nothing I’ve been doing for nine weeks. I’ll just wash my hands. And burn my clothes. And hide any SatNav evidence I may have been to visit Dominic … Continue reading

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Understood, José

If you wanna break eggs you got to make an omelette. Those are the rules I just invented. Well, the single rule. It might be different if you’re married or in a relationship but that’s the single rule. I broke … Continue reading

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Can You Hear My Bum Fernando?

Is it possible to develop Stockholm Syndrome concerning yourself? I hope so as I might otherwise have to acknowledge that ultimately I am being confined by order of Boris Johnson and I really, really, don’t want to start developing salacious … Continue reading

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The Art Of Passing Time While In Self-Isolation

As quite a few people have pointed out to me since the UK government effectively asked us all to spend lots of time at home away from large groups of other people, my history of health issues means I have … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Art, Blogging, Breakfast, comedy, computers, creativity, Culture, Education, exercise, Family, Film, food, friendship, health, internet, Language, Life, Literature, mental health, Music, Nature, Photography, psychology, Religion, science, television, travel, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Unfreaky Friday

Have a Friday, they said. Fridays are made of enlightenment and Swiss chocolate, they said. Fridays are the day all other days of the week wish they could be, they said. Who the fuck are ‘they’? What gives them the … Continue reading

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Couldn’t Put Humpty Together Again

It seems I’m not meant to arrive in America via Chicago’s O’Hare airport. In July 2018 a vacation had to be cancelled because of my stupid lungs. This week I’ve just had to cancel another USA trip but only indirectly … Continue reading

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America When Will You Send Your Eggs To India?

I have some questions for that United State at Americans, which I’ll write below in case any state, or unity, or America reads it and has answers. Firstly: what’s Thanksgiving like in Toledo, Ohio in 2019? Because I know what … Continue reading

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So Good They Named It

The interthing of webbing is a clever innovation. Have you heard about it? It’s like steam engines only it uses much less coal and doesn’t need rails. Or it’s exactly like the spinning jenny if they mean Jenny the alcoholic … Continue reading

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Darling Fascist Bully Boy

Stupid bank holiday weekend. All the banks hopped into their cars and towed caravans down to the coast, clogging up the roads fucking everywhere. Selfish pricks. And they don’t even let their apps have a holiday. I checked my bank … Continue reading

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Being Boring

It is Friday afternoon and I’ve managed to leave my apartment for the first time in three days. I still feel rather broken but have enjoyed a coffee and a catch up with Si so am virtually a human person. … Continue reading

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